“If I Had a World of My Own Everything Would Be Nonsense…” Just to Give Life a Sense.

Tick, tock…tick,tock…Here it comes that time of the year again. A time for new beginnings, a time for fresh dreams: a resolution time.

Looking back over the previous 12 months I now felt sure that all my experiences had been worthwhile. For the first time in years I don’t feel the urge to move anywhere, to make plans or write down life purposes. But as time progresses I have to admit my defeat: how humans might liberate themselves from their pasts is still an enigma to me.

Tick,tock…tick,tock. ..In the silence of my room I can hear my heart beating. A little irritating voice whispers something in my ear and begins to question me right when I’m about to fall asleep. tulgeywood-2

“What are you actually looking for?” It asks.

“I’m not sure,” I reply still off balance.

As an American author once said “Silence is an escape, but silence is rarely a refuge.” I suppose we try to seek refuge in love, in insightful adventures and fulfilling life experiences.  When they present themselves I catch them with no hesitation and I live them at the fullest. The problem is I don’t know how to make them last. So when they end I’m left with an ordinary life again and a restless sense of dissatisfaction.

Tick,tock..tick,tock…it’s nearly the end of the year when suddenly a white rabbit with pink eyes wearing a waistcoat-pocket

images (1)  ran close to me mumbling something. A mad hatter had told it to speak to Time and keep in good terms with him and he would do anything you like with the clock.

“Would it really?” I thought surprised. “This end of year is for me then my only chance to turn all around and making up to my stupid mistakes.”  I had to find out more and burning with curiosity I decided to follow Alice who had already ran across a field after it. Fortunately we were just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole. Under the hedge, the hole went straight like a tunnel and after only a few minutes we found ourselves falling down a deep well that lead us into a beautiful garden.  We were wondering around, when we saw a Cheshire cat sitting on a bough of a tree a few miles off.

“Cheshire puss,” Alice began rather timidly. “Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”

“That depends on a good deal on where you want to get to, said the Cat.

“I don’t much care where – “said Alice.

“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat

“- So long as I get somewhere,” Alice added as an explanation.

“Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.””

This could not be denied, so I tried to explain: images (3)

“A white Rabbit was saying that if we spoke to Time He would do anything we want with the clock.”

“”But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked

“Oh you can’t help that, said the Cat: we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”

“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice

“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.””

The Cat was right: we’re all crazy here. Crazy for saying “yes” for money and “no” for fear. Crazy for believing in what we knew it was a lie, crazy for getting in that same wrong pattern over again. Weren’t we crazy when we left everything to cross the Ocean; when we said things that we didn’t mean and for giving some people a third chance? Yes, crazy! How many times after making a decision we were left with the head in our hands thinking: “How mad was that?”

But we still do all those things because we believe. We believe in love and in those insightful adventures. We hope situations can change. We expect people to change. As Lewis Carroll has taught us everyone would like a world on their own where everything is nonsense, because it’s the only way to give life a sense.

“ You’re right Chesshire Cat – I’m mad,” I bowed in sign of respect. “No need to turn back Time. I’ll start exactly from where I left, and then Time will tell…”

Happy New Year Everyone!

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6 thoughts on ““If I Had a World of My Own Everything Would Be Nonsense…” Just to Give Life a Sense.

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